Miss People Pleaser

People pleasing.

I've struggled with this for a LONG time.

But by God's Grace I'm getting there.

I don't know how it started, but it's definitely something that made everyday life overly complicated.

I come from a relatively big family, comprising mostly of women; opinionated women might I add.

Where everything I did, said, didn't do felt like an opportunity for criticism.

I never felt like I could really be me.

I never felt like being me was enough.

At home I was constantly seeking the approval and validation of family members.

Outside of home, I experienced the same issues but not as severe.

And it's no surprise to say that I took this with me into adulthood.

If I were to be a superhero, I would probably be a shape shifter; because of my ability to mould myself into anything and anyone.

You want confidence? I can be that.

You want feisty? I can be that.

You want intelligent? I can do that.

You want extroverted? I can be that.

You want flirty or sexy? I can be that.

Even as I write this, I write with a heavy, hurt and tired heart.

Tired of the lies.

Tired of the constant need to be validated by others.

Tired of being everything but myself.

Tired of feeling like I constantly have to prove myself.

And I thank God everyday that He's slowly but surely Helped me to finally see through the facade of a life I created.

Or should I say a life I allowed others to create for me.

Now I care a little less, but the scars are still there.

I still have triggers that God is Delivering me from.

He still has to Remind me everyday that I am Loved by the Only One Who Matters no matter what.

I've fallen back several times into old habits, but I am grateful that He's Helped me back up every freaking time.

Whoever's reading this, I feel like Jesus Wants me to let you know there's hope.

You may have some past traumas or current traumas you're dealing with but I promise you can trust Him with it all.

Give it to Him, and the fight will feel so much easier.

Give it to Him, and the burden will feel a lot lighter.

Give it to Him, and you'll be able to live; really live.

Matthew 11:28-30

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Lots of Love D

05/02/2024

9:37pm